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Adevărurile cârciumii

adevarurile carciumii paintCârciuma, la fapt se seară târzie, prin vălătuci de fum de țigară îți dă uneori teme de gândire mai mult decât profunde. Mai ales la țară, acolo unde refularea unei zi de muncă istovitoare sau a unei vieți colorate nu tocmai în roz, alături de paharul de rachiu cu dulce sau de o bere la pet, poate produce adevărate perle. Filozofia discuțiilor, nu de puține ori aprinse, bazată pe curajul dat de beutura cea eliberatoare de prejudecăți, dătătoare de curaj și de frâu liber a gândurilor și limbii, te poate cadorisi cu teme de meditație, uneori deosebit de serioase. Alături, umorul limbajului împleticit de licorile bahice, dă savoare discuției care de cele mai multe ori se transformă în monologuri separate, interminabile.

Undeva într-o cârciumă de țară. Trei localnici, clienți obișnuiți ai paharului de seară, mirosind a transpirație, trăgând cu nesaț din chiștoace, până la deget, sprijiniți cu fălcile în palme, absenți de la ce se întâmplă în jurul lor dar adânc înfipți în discuția aprinsă. Înarmat cu răbdare, cu atenție și evident cu setea de a sorbi din perlele vecinilor, îmi iau o bere și încep să răsfoiesc ziarul cumpărat de la tejghea, ziar local care combate bine.

– Măăă, văzuși că-i gata, or hotărât ăștia, primarele îi ales din prima. Ce mai atâta zdroabă, ne cară dă două ori la vot, odată și gata. Îi bun.

– Îi bun pă dracu să baje în capu tău ăla prost. Așe nu-i democratic, o zâs și ăla, Cristian Tudor Popescu, asară la televizor.

– Iau nu, ș-apă ce, ăla i Dumniezo? Ce zice ăla i biblie? Păi anii trecuți câți bani s-o țâpat pă campaniile ăstea, și pixuri și brichete și găleți și baloane la copii, și tăte cele. Acu să nu să mai țâpe.

– Bine mă Ioane da muieri-ta nu umblă și amu cu pelerină de aia de scrie pă spate Rădoane deputat?

– Fută-te dracu amu, de muiere ț-ai găsit să te leji?

– Taj mă, nu de muieri-ta îi vorba. Ai luat și tu am luat și io și or luat tăți. Dacă s-o dat s-o luat.  Nu-i măă Dumniezo, da i drept ce-o zis. C-or fost tăți deputații de acord și așe or hotărât. Dân primu tur. Că ăștia se ceartă la televizor numa așe să ne prostească pă noi. Cân i bai la buzunaru lor, îz gata, tăți laolaltă. Pă de unde să facă două votări, că acolo îz bani de băgat. Tăți la un fel. Tăt atâta costă o găleată și păntu liberal și păntu pesedist și păntu ungur. Da amu, canci, că nu mai îz bani.

– Nu-z pă dracu. Păntru așe ceva îz bani. Numa pentru noi nu. Ni la drumu ăsta, că de douăzăci de ani or zîs că-l fac și i numa o groapă.

– Mă Ioane, minte puțână ai, de un să mai fie bani? Tu nu vezi că de când o venit Chioveși aia, or dispărut și banii? De une s-o cumpărat găleți și pui conjelați? Din ce bani? Din ăia curați? Nu mă, din ăia mânjâți, de la asfalt și de la canalizări și de la șpăgi. No amu, cu asta, mai fură careva? Să cacă toți pe ei de frică. Și atunci de une bani pătru găleți? Nu mai îs nici păntru români nici păntru unguri. Și atunci cum să nu fie ăia p-o felie tăți?  Rămânem așe cum suntem amu tăți, mai trec 4 ani că n-o fi un veac și după aia vedem cum ne apucăm iar de furat. O pușcă pe Chiveși sau o trimăt în America și o veni iară vremea de furat.

– Ie mă, da la județ îi alfel. Nu-l mai alejem noi pă Moloț. Îl aleg ăia, acolo, la Deva. Di ce mă, i drept? Di ce mă? Di ce nu mă lasă să-l aleg io și tu și când vine pă aci să po să-i zâc că n-o făcut aia și aia și ce-o promis.

– No și tu amu Ioane, le pricepi ca mâța în calendar. Pă când o să fie de votat păntu județ o să fie unu în capu la lista aia, a cui partid o fi și pă aia listă o ștampilezi. Cu cât i mai ștampilat partidu ăla pă care îl vrei tu cu atât îz mai mulți la județ și l-or pune pă ăla în frunte. Ce-i așe mare problema ? Ț-am zâs doară, nu-z bani, măă? S-o gătat cu furatu și cu șpăjile. De un să mai scoată bani și păntru președinte în campanie? Nu vrei să pricepi că tăți îs în aceiași oală ? S-o înțăleje ei acolo, pân vecee sau pă la cârciumă cum și pă care să pună. Amu șpaga o fi mai pă mic.

– Bobiii, răcni al treilea trezit din cucăiala ascultării dialogului, mai adă un rând.

– Bine mă Serjule, da tu ai auzât că amu putem să ne alejem și străini ca primar? Ce fain ar fi.

– Nu străini mă Ioane, numa de ăia europeni de sântem cu ei laolaltă. Nu orice străin, american sau de ăștia. Nu mere chiar așe, că vii tu din Africa și te pui primar. Ne aliniem și noi o țâră că poate a fi bine.

– Mă da aci la noi iz doi italieni, ăia pot concura? Ha, ce fain ar fi să avem primar italian. Și la județ să vină un ungur, numa bine a fi de noi, chicoti Ion și sorbi preaplinul rachiului însiropat de Boby.

– Nu mă, tu nu vezi că acu așe-i feleșagul? Pui un sas în frunte și gata ești european. De parcă ăla o dat gaură la macaroane și ne aduce câni cu covriji în coadă. Și ui unde ne-o adus.

– No, bă Se, pân-aci. Te-o mâncat în cur să ajunji tăt unde vrei tu. Te tăt leji de ăsta. Atâta știi tu,  da cu Ponta tău ce drac făceam? O beleam și ne țâpau ăia afara din Europa.

– Mânce-ți șărpele limba aia ta spurcată de prost ce ești, bătu Sergiu cu pumnul în masă de răsturnă toate paharele și liniștea se așternu dintr-o dată.

Cu coatele în rachiu, fără să se ferească, cu țigara fumegând în colțul gurii, cel de-al treilea, ca și când nimic nu s-ar fi întâmplat, privind în gol, printre cei doi….

Cu sas sau fără sas, noi tăt în căcat suntem. Bobiii, mai adu una!

 

Vladimir BRILINSKY

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

comments

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