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Alegeri la CJ, cronica meciului. episodul 1: ABSTINENŢII

CJ cronixPSD

A bănui PSD de inteligenţă e  ca şi cum ai căuta o virgină la Facultatea de Textile: devii ridicol.

Alegerile de la Consiliul Judeţean Hunedoara au confirmat acest lucru. Asăzi, la alegerile pentru preşedinte şi vicepreşedinte de la Consiliul Judeţean, PSD Hunedoara a asistat dar nu s-a băgat, ca într-o celebră definiţie a funcţiei podoabelor sexuale masculine, adică a coaielor.

Orice analiză politică pleacă de la premisa rezonabilă că partidele acţionează în baza unei logici de maximizare a cîştigului. Da de unde! În judeţul Şoimuş logica e alta. De-aia, printre altele, mai degrabă dai în bobi sau citeşti în cafea dacă vrei s-o nimereşti cu analiza politică. Ori consulţi nu-ş-ce astrologul lu Pluto de la Moloţ TV, care i-a ghicit şi lu naşu-mio Brilinsky că are varice.

Dacă îşi juca şansa în mod lucid, PSD Hunedoara ar fi obţinut cel puţin un vicepreşedinte al Consiliului  Judeţean. Dar ce pretenţii poţi să ai de la Nistor & Co ai lui? Clientela politică a PSD e satisfăcută, oricum, în judeţul Hunedoara. Au avut grijă, pînă acum, Moloţ şi apoi Gligor să nu deranjeze nici cu o floricică babuinii puşi de PSD la ciupercăria deconcentratelor, încă de pe vremea USL-ului. Că au vrut să fie bine, să nu le fie rău, să facă burta mare fără cîrîială prea multă din partea ţărănoilor de comunişti – ăă, PSD-işti.

La ce i-ar mai fi trebuit PSD-ului, aşadar, o funcţie de vicepreşedinte de CJ? Să ascută iarăşi creioanele Ioan Rus, cu privirea turbure şi gîndul rătăcit la găina bătrînă care l-a făcut celebru în satul Uroi şi jumate de Simerie? Oricum nu i-ar fi simţit nimeni lipsa minim două-trei săptămîni, pînă nu urla isteric din uşă femeia de servici, intrată în biroul vicepreşedintelui ca să dea cu mopul din cauza unui miros suspect.

Aşa că azi PSD-iştii au stat, s-au uitat, au făcut efortul de-a avea batăr un ochi deschis şi privirea inteligentă, şi-au luat indemnizaţia de şedinţă şi-au mai tras cîte-un pîrţ discret, de domni veniţi la oraş şi tolăniţi în fotoliu de muşama. De votat n-au votat, nici pentru, nici dimpotrivă. De ce? Ce logică astrală subtilă şi sofisticată i-a împiedicat să se manifeste ca fiinţe înzestrate cu ştampilă? Numai alde Intotero şi Râşteiu ar putea răspunde – dar nici ei din prima, ci numai cînd vor pătrunde, prin post, rugăciune şi înfrînare de la cele lumeşti, tainele Sf. Panfutie cel Nou de la Bejan.

UNPR

Singurul consilier judeţean care-a lipsit astăzi de la măcelul dintre triburile Hutu şi Tutsi (ambele rwandezo-liberale; fraţi, mă!) a fost fix Nea Mişu Rudeanu. Fire simţitoare, medic veterinar, pesemne că nu suportă sîngele de om. A fost preşedinte de Consiliu Judeţean şi ştie gustul capului tăiat de pe gît prin votul indirect, nu mai suportă. Aşa i-a luat şi lui gîţii domnul Moloţ, acu-s 11 ani bătuţi pe muchie, şi trauma se lasă cu fobii. A stat ascuns acasă, în fundul şifonierului, cu uşile închise şi o căciulă rusească trasă peste ochi.

La şedinţă a fost prezentă, la început, şi Peshtoiaca, apoi a dispărut, toc-toc! pe platformele bej. Cum care Peshtoaică? Mama unui mic peshtișor din Petroşani, conform spuselor DIICOT. O fi găsit ceva clienţi pentru fii-so, că era adrenalină multă şi feromoni încinşi în sală, palpita o tensiune cvasi-erotică, ca inima de bou junghiat la abatorul din Nojag. Nici ăştia, UNPR-iştii, trei la număr, n-au votat. Pe al treilea dracu-l ştie, unul cu costum. Pace bună, Mniezo i-ajute la interesul naţional aplicat local, o frecţie cu Diana la un picior de capră şută.

 

Alin BENA

(va urma)

 

Comments

comments

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