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Ce pensia mea?

Hunedorenii ăştia 5 sînt deputaţii şi senatorul care au semnat ca să-şi facă pensii suplimentare nesimţite, pe lîngă pensiile oricum nesimţite. Ce să facă, mă, cu atîta bănet? Ia să vedem ce-ar zice.

Ce veţi face cu pensia mare? Pe ce o daţi?

marica 300Sorin Marica – deputat PSD de Sălaşu de Sus

În primul rînd nu ştiu de unde aţi aflat că eu sînt deputat. E un secret atît de bine păstrat, încît nici eu nu-l ştiu. Chiar, sînt deputat? Nu ştiu ce să spun că voi face cu pensia, că eu nu sînt obişnuit cu cuvintele şi n-aş vrea să supăr pe nimeni. Cum mi-a zis mie un înţelept care mi-a fost model: din viaţă rămîi cu ce bei, mînci şi tragi pe gură – ca să rimeze, hăhă, că eu şi fumez mult. Asta o să fac.

 

Natalia-300Natalia Intotero – deputat PSD

Sînt tînără şi frumoasă, dar o pensie bună nu mi-ar strica. Aş vrea să dau o şansă tinerelor fete de a se lansa în politică, de aceea cu aceşti bani din pensioară voi organiza şcolile de vară ale tineretului PSD la Geoagiu, chiar la hotelul în care m-am lansat şi eu. Iar pentru şefa de promoţie voi plăti chiar camera mea de debut, pentru două nopţi, cu minibar inclus.

 

haralabie-300Haralambie Vochiţoiu – senator PP-DD, UNPR, PSD, cine mai ştie?

Ai să-ţi vinzi şi busuiocul presat din Biblia lu soacră-ta ca să-mi plăteşti daune pentru ce mă-ntrebi tu aicea! Cine te-a pus să mă-ntrebi? Înregistrezi? Raţ ai dracu cu Cioara! Cînd toţi mă pupă-n cur tu întrebi pe invers? Bine, îţi răspund. Pensia am s-o depun în seif la sediul partidului şi apoi noaptea am să vin să mi-o fur. Ziua iar o depun, noaptea iar o fur. Ca să mă simt în activitate şi după ce ies la pensie.

 

nistor-300Laurenţiu Nistor – deputat PSD

Domnul fie binecuvîntat pentru că m-aţi întrebat! Chiar mă gîndeam că nu mă mai întreabă nimeni nimic. La pensie voi avea timp pentru pasiunea mea de o viaţă: pictura chipului meu pe păreţi. Am început modest, cu buda din şcoala generală din sat, apoi în veceurile din gări şi, în fine, în toaletele luxoase din Casa Poporului. Odată cu vîrsta, m-am orientat spre lăcaşele de cult şi acum numai în biserici vreau. Pensia o s-o dau pe guaşe, vopsele acrilice, grund, acuarele, pensule, bidinele, Sfîntul Panfutie în veci fie lăudat, după mare harul său! Să rămînă ceva frumos după mine, ceva artistic.

 

Mircia-300Mircia Muntean – deputat PSD

Pensia o voi cheltui pentru un proiect de cercetare ştiinţifică care va revoluţiona şoferia în România. Şi anume voi descoperi: ţuica fără alcool, semaforul fără lumina roşie şi basculanta fără spate. Nimeni n-a mai avut această idee pînă la mine, mă felicit că mi-a venit aşa, într-o străfulgerare, într-o seară. Voi cheltui o mare parte din pensie şi pentru a crea un soi de boscheţi cu încălzire geotermică, că mi-a fost al dracu de frig cînd m-am ascuns. Restul de pensie îl dau lui Jănică, că el conduce în ziua cînd iau pensia.

 

Alin BENA

citeşte şi: Doamne miruieşte, de ocnă ne fereşte!

Comments

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503 Comments

    • Daca noi nu am munci, voi de unde ati avea bani de pensii Rusine sa va fie,nesimtire totala fata de oameni.PSD-ul ar trebui sa aiba soarta lui CEAUSESCU!! Oameni nu au ce manca , iar voi vreti pensii mai mari ca in Franta.

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